Public apologies to Restricted

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#1
Well, others write walls of text to trashtalk... so I think this one should be perfectly acceptable. (protip: just read the bold letters to skip all the unnecessary cringe)

I've been wanting to do this for quite a while. I know it's probably weird, unintended, and you might find it even funny or ironic. You can bash me about it, I truly deserve what I've been told here, and all the dislike I've gained from other players. I took a simple disagreement so far to the point of being against the friends I made during my journey in PKO just because I decided to selfishly believe my own ideals were better. (ples no laugh... I know I'm being pathetic over a game, but I need to get this out of my mind)

I expect absolutely nothing from this, and I am not trying to get back in the guild or anything of that sort. These are words I simply feel like saying to all those people who supported me for 8 months in this guild. Again, I am not even expecting these apologies to be accepted at all, but I still want to express them.

Restricted was the guild that took me in when I had no one else to talk to in-game. When I had no one else to rely on, without expecting anything back from me. I failed this guild in my very first day in a very bad messup (my legendary BD) but even after being angry for a bit, they still took care of me and let me grow in PKO.
Even while being partially (or fully) useless to this guild, they still gave me a chance to re-learn how to play this game in a class I had never played before. However I still felt in debt because of the legendary BD day since I made this guild lose a lot of time and resources that day, completely accidentally, so I did my best to repay that one day, since I was really grateful for the opportunity.
I slowly took in-guild work such as counting points for the guild system and even leading a PK once in a while, but as I got more and more into it, I began knowing each guildie in depth and got very well along with almost everyone, leading myself into very close friendships there.
However, as I got closer to how the guild worked from the inside, I was entrusted with a lot of of what can be considered "delicate" information from guild, and also with pretty expensive items, such as a BD torso and BD souls. I was a trusted member in no time.
But knowing all this info made me question a lot of things, from which I received close to no information, leading me to easily believe a lot of rumours, which even though they could be true, they could aswell be false, but that is not the point here.
As I questioned more and more things, I began spreading my doubts among other members, which made themselves question the guild system and begin creating discomfort among guildies. This slowly led a few of my friends to be, from my point of view, mistreated.
So among my friends, I shared my own ideals about the "perfect guild", which were easily relayed. I was VERY sure that I was right. So I decided to go with my selfish idea of my own guild all the way into it.
I promised many things, not many followed me at the end. However during my leaving, instead of keeping it peaceful, I decided to share every information I didn't agree with to the point of even sharing the delicate information I was entrusted with. This also led many of my close guildies to easily believe rumours such as me trying to scam the guild bank. This actually never happened, but I decided to go along with it since I felt pretty hurt by my friends not trusting me at that point, again this is not the point.
So when I left and joined the enemy side, even though I managed to go through several difficulties along with the 6 people who followed me to the end and remake my very own "perfect guild" with my own rules.
As my guild now became our guild with a lot of new members and we began winning several mazes, I got really into it. I really, really wanted to selfishly win everything to demonstrate I was right all this time. I always avoided getting so into the game to the point I would take it seriously, since I was supossed to only make videos at all.. but, once I had a little bit of power, I entirely failed at it.
I took PKO and guild managing the most serious I've been about something online in a long time, doing even quite dirty things to Restricted such as stealing members (not every rumour is true, though, but I do admit I did really nasty things. The type any other player could've done though.)

I started to truly believe I was right all this time, and seeing Restricted as evil people the more I got into it.... until I was paid with the very same coin when my own trusted members decided to do the very same thing I did to restricted. Just like karma, the story I just told about above repeated in my very own guild.
These days I've realized I was actually wrong. Restricted was never the problem. The leadership was never the problem. Every guild has it's ups and downs. My ideals were never perfect, they were simply different. Believing otherwise was completely selfish and silly from my part.


I apologize for:
In general to all Restricted
: I'm very sorry to every single of you. I imposed my ideas the worst way I could. I still feel attached to every single of you even after PKing for the last ~4 months.
@Playl3oy Mainly, I am sorry to you, sultan. You gave me the place no other guild did. You gave me all your trust. You even gave me a second opportunity and I rejected it with pretty mean answers. Pretty silly of me. I disappointed you in many ways, so I am truly sorry. I never deserved you.
@zethers Even though you accused me of things I never did, I understand your reasons to have done so. I did the same thing before when I was under pressure. I was unnecessarily mean to you plus I gave you a lot of trouble being in this side. You are one of the persons I personally appreciate the most in this server. I am really sorry, dabi.
Trunkss: I got pretty angry at you after you snitched me, but with time I got to understand you just wanted to protect your guild. Even though it was not the best way, it's still respectable. The day we PvPed together and talked in voice chat eased my anger towards you in a 100%. You are truly a valuable friend and a very valuable guild member. Please never change that one side of you. However, I am sorry for giving you so much trouble aswell... hahaha, having to wake up at 4 am for BD pk is truly a thing.
McBabyBrei&Cousin: Well, what can I say about you guys... both of you are bishes, but in a way youre the good type of bishes xD. You were the only ones who were humane enough to talk to me properly about my leaving. Even though I still think you are bishes, I treasure the fact you both talked to me in that day. Thank you, and really sorry for not listening to any of you.
Jap: Idk why I'm always mean to you. You're actually a real nice dude even if you're a bit crazy. The few times you talked to me were really appreciated. Thanks, boi <3
@BinMtawa Well, boi. I truly treated you like shit. I honestly think youre the very one I treated the worst in the entire server. Even though I still strongly disagree in the way you approached my people, I have the hardest time apologizing to you since you were really never at fault for this. Still, I am sorry ahmed, and I sincerely wouldn't blame you if you weren't able to forgive me.
Toxiking/KagamiZ/Doris/LunaBelle/ @Leba Did nothing particularly bad to any of you, but still disappointed you. I still love all of you, in all sincerity.

Anyways, why do I apologize all so suddenly? eh, no idea, I simply guess I got to understand how it feels to be paid with the same coin. Pretty late, yes. And kinda sad I got to understand some things the hard way. Don't take me wrong, though. I might still play with my guild once in a while since this guild gave me incredibly wonderful memories and I've got to experience feelings I never had online with them. And no, I do not regret anything of this, since I got to see both sides of the server and catch feelings for nearly every player inside this little online world. Remember kids, strong feelings towards people are bad! every person has a point of view which varies a lot, and that alone doesnt make up for a bad person.

Enjoy the game, everyone. LuisaRLZ out :)
 

Spidpex

Official Game Guide Writer
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#8
It's very rare that i comment on guild related topics, toxic wise or friendly wise, but i felt the urge to leave a comment on this one

This post hit me, not because i'm a very neutral player, that enjoys players from either of the sides, but because i feel that it's important to sit down with themself to think about the past and see what went wrong, and what made "you" the person you are today, and how you "lost" the ones u used to like.

So, Kudos for making this post, from me atleast!
 

chaos50

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#9
McBabyBrei&Cousin: Well, what can I say about you guys... both of you are bishes, but in a way youre the good type of bishes xD. You were the only ones who were humane enough to talk to me properly about my leaving. Even though I still think you are bishes, I treasure the fact you both talked to me in that day. Thank you, and really sorry for not listening to any of you.
kkkkkkkkkkk fonten girl....
dont take the vids serious plzzz

cheers :D

It's very rare that i comment on guild related topics, toxic wise or friendly wise, but i felt the urge to leave a comment on this one

This post hit me, not because i'm a very neutral player, that enjoys players from either of the sides, but because i feel that it's important to sit down with themself to think about the past and see what went wrong, and what made "you" the person you are today, and how you "lost" the ones u used to like.

So, Kudos for making this post, from me atleast!
np, you here to farm messages xd
 
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